13 Apr, 2022
Last Friday, I had an epiphany. In my 2015 blog, I wrote about the 4 ingredients that constitute a relationship. My 2016 blog added another 3. My 2021 blog was a summary. These 7 ingredients define many (or all) types of relationships: communication, forgiveness, intimacy, respect, togetherness, trust and vulnerability. Any type of relationship starts - and ends -...
1 Feb, 2021
Recently, a father sent congratulations on his daughter's wedding on Dutch radio. That message also mentioned that this couple is each other's friend. Latter struck a nerve. Despite some exceptions, a lack of friendship is indeed characteristic for my failed relationships. Moreover, the people whom you will miss, are your...
10 Oct, 2019
In a recent Dutch language interview with Jean-Claude Juncker, he used a common French expression: "Je m'en fous!" (FD, De Tijd). A polite translation would be: "I don't care" (what others think). The accompanying emotion reveals a more offensive meaning. A recent interview with Swiss philosopher Alain de Botton recommends a similar approach to life...
17 May, 2019
My blogs on happiness and satisfaction resulted in a new and related topic: compatibility a.k.a. "capable of existing together in harmony" (MW). The (in)compatibility of men and women is a source for many writers, like John Gray's 1992 book Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus, and also many comedians (eg, Mark Gungor's Tale of Two Brains). The reason why...
30 Aug, 2018
My recent blog (When is a relationship a relationship?) did not address the cause for this question. I think, feel and believe that this question relates to our changing perception on Freedom. I addressed this issue before in my 2016 blog: Togetherness: "Over the years, my concept of togetherness has evolved from 'restrictive freedom' to just 'freedom' and then...
14 Feb, 2018
Several days ago, I talked to my Brazilian friend. She told me she still admires me. The word admiration struck a nerve. I've never written about admiration in relationships. I do know how important it is: when I lose it, the flame dies. Valentine's Day is an appropriate day for this topic. Research by Dr. John Gottman of the Gottman...
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