I’m in a new phase of my rollercoaster of solitude and loneliness. I failed to see this coming, despite part 6 of this blog series from October 2024. My comforting feeing of solitude seems to have vanished into thin air. Feelings of (temporary) loneliness have replaced my solitude. I can hardly remember such feelings. I’m not sure if I ever experienced those...
There’s a fine line between a friendship and a relationship. It’s an either / or situation. The threshold is intimacy. Once that threshold has been crossed, there’s a new fine line (eg, us vs them). Crossing that second fine line often ends everything (ie, friendship and relationship). According to Oscar Wilde, there’s one serious problem: “Between men and women...
Last Friday, I had an epiphany. In my 2015 blog, I wrote about the 4 ingredients that constitute a relationship. My 2016 blog added another 3. My 2021 blog was a summary. These 7 ingredients define many (or all) types of relationships: communication, forgiveness, intimacy, respect, togetherness, trust and vulnerability. Any type of relationship starts - and ends -...
Recently, my best friend forever acknowledged that I'm still her BFF despite all that happened since we broke up. I'm relieved that we've finally reconnected. She asked me if there could still be a future between us. I had to consider her question. I said that it's definitely not a no. It's probably a yes, provided that certain conditions would be met. She said...
Recently, a father sent congratulations on his daughter's wedding on Dutch radio. That message also mentioned that this couple is each other's friend. Latter struck a nerve. Despite some exceptions, a lack of friendship is indeed characteristic for my failed relationships. Moreover, the people whom you will miss, are your...
Late September, I noticed a personal ad in a newspaper. One Dutch word hit me in the face: "levenslust" or "lust for life". My many disappointments in Love had disrupted my lust for life. In the absence of Hope and Love, Doubt and Fear will take over (my blogs). In my life, doubt has a central spot because doubt forces me to keep an open mind. This kind of...
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