27 Mar, 2023
A friend says that she envies me for protecting my heart so well. Indeed, it seems that I'm not hurt by the one(s) whom I love the most. Late 2010, I decided to stop my heart from bleeding by building an imaginary sarcophagus around it. Most of the year, it indeed helps me soldiering on. My friend is slowly copying my solution because she fears that the hurting will...
20 Mar, 2023
The notion of (full) reciprocity in friendships will create false expectations because it's an illusion. Some friendships may indeed come quite close to reciprocity. In most friendships, someone is leading (eg, pull & push) the friendship. The other friends are more responsive. Hence, my blog title's question. Many articles claim reciprocity is a cornerstone of...
20 Feb, 2023
I heard the phrase above in Cold Feet, a long-running comedy series rated 8.2 in IMDb. A granny in a nursing home used it as an excuse to have flirted with other men while still being married. This phrase also applies to other daring activities, like bungee jumping, skydiving and even swinging. Apparently, I'm a conventional guy. Moreover, I doubt that life is (too)...
15 Feb, 2023
I like several British and Scandinavian TV crime series. Recently, I started wondering if (their) crime fiction reflects reality? Based on my initial research, the answer seems clear: yes. Even in the Netherlands, there is a correlation: Baantjer (crime in Amsterdam), Penoza (drugs crime in Brabant). Statistics show that the "homicide rate in the UK was 1.2 per...
30 Jan, 2023
Recently, I noticed an article of which the subject has been on my mind for a very long time. Why am I better in advising others than in advising myself? Big Think-2023: "In 2014, a paper from psychologists Igor Grossman and Ethan Kross introduced the idea of Solomon’s paradox." "Their research revealed two things. One was that people “display wiser...
23 Dec, 2022
Our reasons for denying something, appear to be almost endless. Denial may be a response to negative emotions (eg, guilt & shame, regret & remorse), and/but also to positive emotions (eg, confident humility, love). From a rational point of view, denial seems illogical. So, why do we deny? Denying is part of lying (ie, what). Children start lying at c.3 years...
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