Not so long ago, it was simple to determine a friend or a foe. Today, there’s a turn of a friendly card (see song below).
“Identification, friend or foe (IFF) is a combat identification system designed for command and control. It uses a transponder that listens for an interrogation signal and then sends a response that identifies the broadcaster.”
Wikipedia: Identification friend or foe
I’m using a recent incident below for painting a similarity between a micro based focus (ie, my life) and a macro based perspective (ie, geopolitics).
Since late 2025, I suggested to an American friend to relocate to Europe following her complaints about the state of affairs in her home country. I told her that I have zero intention for visiting USA once again – unlike my many visits in the 1980s and 1990s.
She made detailed arrangements to apply for her US passport and a EU-Schengen visa for visiting Europe (and me). Then her daily WhatsApp updates stopped. I had a bad feeling about her sudden silence.
About a week later, she suddenly asked me to visit USA – instead of her visiting Europe – because I “already have a passport”. I said I didn’t understand her sudden change of mind. I asked about her (true) intentions for that change. Her only explanation was that my visit would be “quicker”.
I told her that her request caused trust issues between her and me. The next day, I formally declined her request without any further elaboration. She claimed that my trust issues were settled by my “No”. In my view, however, trust arrives by foot and leaves on horseback.
Ever since, I have been wondering if she truly is/was a friend. My conclusion is that she didn’t really want to visit Europe, and used a (classic) reverse psychology trick on me. She knew very well that I would decline visiting USA. Hence, her and my traveling would be “dead” immediately.
She has tried staying in contact with me but my disillusion is too big. In my view, I tried helping a friend to “escape” her country. Clearly, she does not need, want or believe in any help despite her signals. I’ve learned my lesson: you can lead a horse to water but you cannot make it drink.
Moreover, why should I explain my intention for not visiting USA ?? Trump’s mere existence is enough reason. Moreover, she hides her intentions to me for not visiting Europe (and me). Latter is keeping my trust issues alive.
It’s a weird feeling when you start wondering whether a friendship was real – or not. I suppose there’s a similar feeling between many European countries and Trump’s USA.
Turn of a Friendly Card (1980) The Alan Parsons Project
band, lyrics, video, Wiki-band, Wiki-album+song
[Chorus]
But the game never ends when your whole world depends
On the turn of a friendly card
Note: all markings (bold, italic, underlining) by LO unless in quotes or stated otherwise
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