My mother (90) realizes she must accept her change of moving to a nursing home. We know there’s no alternative. Nevertheless, her acceptance (ie, of major Change or grief) is hard because her unhappiness still wins. For weeks, she is in stage 3 of the Kübler-Ross model, being Bargaining:
In my view, she still moves from bargaining (#3) towards denial (#1) rather than towards acceptance (#5). I suspect that her unspoken denial probably relates to her not (yet) recognizing the inevitability of her situation. Hence, her bargaining continues.
The above made me curious: why is the inevitability of (her) acceptance so hard?
Probably, the inevitability of her situation would become clear after selling her house. Now, her house is still a theoretical alternative. In an earlier conversation, she did refer to her house still being her property. I do wonder if she would accept such a sale. Probably not – yet.
After digesting the above, I realized there’s a BIG difference between major change and grief. The inevitability of acceptance is never an issue in case of grief because death cannot be avoided. Hence, the Kübler-Ross model of processing the 5 stages of grief has – indeed – a logical sequence.
“Change is inevitable, change will always happen, but you have to apply direction to change, and that’s when it’s progress.”
A quote by former professional football player Doug Baldwin (b.1988).
Inevitable (2018) by Lauren Daigle
artist, lyrics, video, Wiki-artist, Wiki-album+song
[Verse 1]
I can feel when my mind starts to creep into doubt
On the days when the strength in my heart’s giving out
There’s a light, but it hides from me deep in the cloud
There’s a voice that I need, but I don’t hear a sound
Note: all markings (bold, italic, underlining) by LO unless in quotes or stated otherwise.
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