Sta Hungry Stay Foolish

Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish.

A blog by Leon Oudejans

How your attitudes to money could be affecting your relationship

Recently, I noticed an Aeon-Psyche article with an intriguing title (see above). I didn’t want to write about it but it kept bugging my mind. My past experiences have contributed to my reluctance. Suddenly, I realised its relevance.

My upbringing explains my attitude towards money. My parents owned their house, their business, and their car in the 1960s. Money was mostly saved and only spent occasionally. Renting a house was mostly criticised. Going out (eg, dinner, vacations) was rather rare for them.

To a large extent, I copied their attitude. Saving enough money to buy my future house was important to me. Buying my (first) house in 1994 indeed caused tensions in my then-relationship. I never doubted my investment. It was one of the best decisions in my life.

My blog label doubt, fear, hope & love also describes the four attitudes towards money. I suppose I’m in the hope category. Some people (eg, women) are clearly in the love (to spend) category. A former girlfriend’s attitude towards (future) money was governed by fear.

The stronger those 4 attitudes, the bigger the difference in attitudes, and the more frictions in a relationship. With the knowledge of hindsight, that has indeed been the case. In the absence of strong attitudes, money becomes less important in a relationship.

I suppose the attitude towards money becomes clear on the very first date (eg, insistence on sharing cost, no wallet, waiting who is asking for the bill).

Money (That’s What I Want) – 1959 – by Barrett Strong (1941-2023)
artist, lyrics, video, Wiki-artist, Wiki-song

[Verse 1]
The best things in life are free
But you can give them to the birds and bees

[Chorus]
I need money (That’s what I want)
That’s what I want (That’s what I want)
That’s what I want (That’s what I want)
That’s what I want (That’s what I want)

Note: all markings (bolditalicunderlining) by LO unless in quotes or stated otherwise.

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