Sta Hungry Stay Foolish

Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish.

A blog by Leon Oudejans

It’s better to be alone than being lonely in a relationship

A relationship used to be a goal in my life. Like many other people, I prefer to be alone nowadays. I’m not sure when I’ve changed my mind. I suppose dating failures explain the how and the why. Dating appears to be a game or a leisure activity rather than anything serious.

Perhaps, I’ve given up although I doubt that. I’ve just accepted reality. If anyone serious would come along then I could – and probably would – change my mind. I doubt that moment is nearby. I do hope it’s out there – somewhere.

My blog title is about balancing emotions and ratio. A good relationship could well be like synergy (eg, 1+1=3). A bad relationship could well drain (all) your energy. Hence, being alone neither boosts nor drains your energy level.

I used to believe in synergy. Nevertheless, many to most company mergers fail (eg, Harvard Business Review-2011). To some extent, the high divorce rate of c.50% suggests a similar trend (eg, Forbes-2024). Actually, animal stories paint a similar tale (eg, National Science Foundation-2013).

What is the origin of our notion of a life-long commitment??

The answer(s) might well be in this interesting and intriguing sentence:

“Viewed as an adaptive evolutionary strategy, commitment offers enormous potential for explaining complex and irrational emotional behaviors within a biological framework.”

Source: Evolution and the Capacity for Commitment (2001)

Given this quote, it might well be logical, rational and sensible that commitment becomes rather meaningless once you do not longer belong to the biological framework. Similarly, this animal quote:

“Older animals are often culled from the herd because they are not as productive as they once were, either not producing enough milk or not successfully rearing enough offspring to make them profitable.”

A quote from The Hard Decisions (2018)

Hence, it’s better to be alone than being lonely in a relationship.

better alone (2018) by Lykke Li
artist, lyrics, video, Wiki-artist, Wiki-album+song

I’m better alone than lonely (lonely, lonely)
I’m better alone than lonely here with you

Note: all markings (bolditalicunderlining) by LO unless in quotes or stated otherwise.


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