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Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish.

A blog by Leon Oudejans

“I Love You”

Recently, I watched SE03 EP19 of The Big Bang Theory. This great TV series is rated #8.1 on IMDb. In that episode, Leonard says “I Love You” to Penny – for the very first time. Penny gets very confused and replies by saying “Thank you”. Then Leonard gets very confused. They break up soon after.

After watching that episode, I suddenly remembered a similar instance in my life. To some extent, I got confused and didn’t believe her words due to a lack of supporting deeds. Hence, I started questioning her intentions. My approach did not result into anything positive – to put it mildly.

Perhaps, a face-to-face conversation would have been sufficient to believe the words she said to me. Unfortunately, her words were said in a long and difficult telephone conversation about one of our break-ups. Moreover, it had taken her more than two years to say those words to me.

It is quite rare for me to use the words “I Love You” towards any woman. I need to believe those words (myself) before I can say those words. I’m incapable of using those words for tactical reasons (eg, sex). I don’t mind. I’m open about that emotional struggle.

The timing (pre vs post) of the words “I Love You” has important consequences between men and women: tactics versus truth. A 2020 quote from She Knows: “If you haven’t yet slept together and someone says, “I love you,” watch out. It could be a ploy to get you into bed.”

A 2021 article in Healthline outlines our subconscious fear: “Saying “I love you,” at least in the context of a romantic relationship or love interest, does typically suggest a desire for increased commitment. That’s one reason why you might feel a little nervous before saying those words.”

I suppose that I never take any commitment lightly. Hence, I must believe in my intentions to commit before expressing my words.

“Knowing when to say “I love you” isn’t always easy. For some people it’s a spontaneous moment, while for others saying the L word for the first time may take hours of thought and planning.”

Source: When to Say ‘I Love You’ For the First Time? 3 Factors Are Key (2022) by PsychCentral

L is for Lover (1986) by Al Jarreau (1940-2017)
artist, lyrics, video, Wiki-artist, Wiki-album+song

Note: all markings (bolditalicunderlining) by LO unless in quotes or stated otherwise.

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