Before doing anything, I first decide if I’m able to. My second consideration is whether I dare to do it (now). My third consideration is whether I’m really willing to do it. When these three hurdles are taken then doing becomes logical and usually right away. No more delays or procrastination.
The reverse works differently. People often use the excuse that they cannot when they actually mean that they don’t dare to do it, or are not willing to do it. Cannot is usually a flimsy excuse once you start drilling into their arguments. Often, cannot = will not (eg, Quora).
Nowadays, it’s my habit to say a simple Yes or No, regardless of my arguments (eg, able, daring, willing). Depending on the specific person, I may add some arguments in case of my No. Several decades ago, I was still beating around the bush, until someone senior got angry with me for wasting his time.
Several cultures are (in)famous for avoiding saying No to people (eg, foreigners) because it’s considered offensive. Saying No to local people may still be considered as rude. Sources: Asian Customs, BBC Travel, LinkedIn, North Dakota Trade Office, and Weebly.
I’m curious why the main argument for a Yes is often sheer willingness (regardless of being able), while the main argument for a No is often a flimsy excuse (eg, cannot, unable). I suppose that the Yes is rooted in opportunism, while the No is rooted in fear.
“Just because someone isn’t willing or able to love us, it doesn’t mean that we are unlovable.”
A quote (#28) by American professor and author Brené Brown (b.1965)
Willing & Able (2020) by Emma Brammer (Le Flex Remix)
artist, lyrics, video, no Wikipedia
Note: all markings (bold, italic, underlining) by LO unless in quotes or stated otherwise.
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