Sta Hungry Stay Foolish

Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish.

A blog by Leon Oudejans

I feel nothing

7 December 2023


Usually, my intuition sends me a clear message: okay OR stay away. Sometimes, I do not listen to my intuition, and then my feelings get burned subsequently. For some time, there’s someone who doesn’t appear on my intuition radar. I feel nothing. I fail to understand why.

Since several months, I’ve been hiding in my shell (see song below), following another (repeated) disappointment. That new person appears to lure me out of my shell. I’m reluctant. There are too many people trying to benefit from making someone’s acquaintance.

I’ve already sent several messages expressing a lack of interest in getting acquainted. Usually, people understand such messages and then back off. This person appears to ignore my messages. I sincerely doubt that my messages are being misunderstood.

I’m not really afraid that my curiosity will win – once more. Even my empathy did not budge – this time. Again, I feel nothing – rather than something – towards that person – to my genuine surprise. It’s almost as if I’m blank.

Since a few days, this issue seems “solved”.

To be continued or (hopefully) not.

Sometimes I feel everything at once,

Sometimes I feel nothing…

Sometimes I want to dive deep within,

Sometimes I just want to get rid of myself…

Sometimes I want to feel the love,

Sometimes I feel it doesn’t exist…

Sometimes I want to value,

But rest of the times I know I need it more to heal myself…

A quote by Maitree Taylor a.k.a. Maitree Bhansali

Hide in Your Shell (1974) by Roger Hodgson / Supertramp
artist, lyrics, video, Wiki-artist, Wiki-album+song

You’re waiting for
Someone to understand you

Note: all markings (bolditalicunderlining) by LO unless in quotes or stated otherwise.


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