Sta Hungry Stay Foolish

Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish.

A blog by Leon Oudejans

What to do when there’s no solution or alternative?

I have a dilemma and don’t really know what to do besides my acceptance of a certain decision. The how of that decision is the center of my dilemma. I fail to see a solution – or an alternative – for that how. I’m afraid that the how will cause hurt and pain and possibly even regret and/or remorse.

Strictly speaking, the model of Elisabeth Kübler-Ross (1926-2004) has 5 stages of processing grief, being: Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, and Acceptance (a.k.a. DABDA). I’ve chosen for stage 5 as the other 4 are not relevant to me. For others, that choice might result in bargaining.

I’m considering discussing the how. I’m still not sure because I cannot offer an alternative, at least not a legal one. Why discussing something if you cannot even give other options? My acceptance of that particular decision has (effectively) eliminated any alternatives. Should one still discuss?

To a (very) large extent, the arguments above mirror the discussion with a general practitioner (Dutch: huisarts). I suppose the lack of alternative (legal) solutions led to that decision.

I’ve discussed that decision with a friend, who has a medical profession. In her view, the how is – possibly – severely underestimated. Actually, her remark did not come as a surprise to me. Any average duration is the outcome of multiple observations. What to do next though??

Dutch poet C. Buddingh’ (1918-1985) once stated in Dutch: “Inspraak zonder inzicht leidt tot uitspraak zonder uitzicht”, which translates like “input without insight leads to output without perspective” (source). I suppose I’m still gathering as much insight as I possibly can to deal with that decision.

More likely, I’m procrastinating, the “action of unnecessarily and voluntarily delaying or postponing something despite knowing that there will be negative consequences for doing so.” (Wiki). I fail to see the negative consequences though. I’m just delaying the inevitable conversation.

Shortly, before falling asleep I received the inspiration that I needed: just be supportive. In my view, this includes telling the truth because not telling my friend’s information is far from an innocent white lie.

“Complaining about a problem without posing a solution is called whining.”

A quote by Teddy Roosevelt (1858-1919), “who served as the 26th president of the United States from 1901 to 1909″

Stuck In The Middle With You (1973) by Stealers Wheel
band, lyrics, video, Wiki-band, Wiki-song

Note: all markings (bolditalicunderlining) by LO unless in quotes or stated otherwise.


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