Sta Hungry Stay Foolish

Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish.

A blog by Leon Oudejans

Bisexuality and trust

Our belief systems are governed by three domains: Love, Knowledge & Power. All three domains have trust issues, like fake news (Knowledge) and lying politicians (Power). The domain that (probably) has most trust issues is Love. How can bisexual people even trust each other??

A 2019 Pew Research Center report appears to confirm those trust issues: Bisexual adults are far less likely than gay men and lesbians to be ‘out’ to the people in their lives.

“Only 19% of those who identify as bisexual say all or most of the important people in their lives are aware of their sexual orientation. In contrast, 75% of gay and lesbian adults say the same.”

Quote from 2019 Pew Research Center report

Hence, the expressions, proverbs and sayings in society express little trust for people who are playing for both sides. The most favourable view is (probably) opportunism, like the Dutch proverb van twee walletjes eten. Still, opportunism may well relate to jealousy.

I asked a bisexual friend if she can – simultaneously – love a man and a woman. She confirmed that. It requires selfconfidence, trust in others, and a lack of jealousy. She agrees, however, there’s always a weakest link. Ironically, she was the one who broke up her love triangle due to a 4th person.

In my view, men tend to fantasize about bisexual women. They hardly view them as a threat. Still, a former male co-worker lost his wife (and children) when two bisexual women loved each other more than their husbands. Actually, I once nearly lost my then-girlfriend to another woman.

Would I have enough self-confidence, trust, and lack of jealousy to be in a relationship with a bisexual woman? Only if and when there would be a connection with her Body, Mind and Soul. One connection is too fragile. Two connections would just be a compromise that may not stand the test of time.

“She liked to ignore the fact that I had made love to men and enjoyed it. She liked to ignore it until the very moment she decided to be threatened by it. That seemed to be her pattern. I was a lesbian when she loved me and a straight woman when she hated me.”

A quote by Taylor Jenkins Reid (b.1983) from her 2017 novel The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo

I Kissed A Girl (2008) by Katy Perry
artist, lyrics, video, Wiki-artist, Wiki-song

I kissed a girl and I liked it
The taste of her cherry chapstick
I kissed a girl just to try it
I hope my boyfriend don’t mind it
It felt so wrong, it felt so right
Don’t mean I’m in love tonight
I kissed a girl and I liked it
I liked it

Note: all markings (bolditalicunderlining) by LO unless in quotes or stated otherwise.


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