Sta Hungry Stay Foolish

Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish.

A blog by Leon Oudejans

Priority vs option

In several situations, you may experience an unpleasant and subconscious feeling: being someone’s option rather than her/his/their priority.

These situations may relate to: family (eg, children, relationship), leisure (eg, friendship), love (eg, dating), sports, study, and/or work (eg, jobs).

This unpleasant feeling relates to some of my recent blogs: Feeling ignored (2023), Why do we expect reciprocal friendships? (2023).

In my view, a (rational) discussion about an unpleasant (emotional) feeling will make matters worse.

In such a discussion, the other person(s) will deny the existence (sic!) of your uncomfortable feelings, and your doubts may even turn into fear.

Hyper Sensitive Persons represent either “between 15 and 30% of the population” (Guardian-2023), or “about 15–20% of the population” (Wiki). Note LO: emphasis in quotes by me. Being an HSP will make the above situations far worse. I think, feel and believe that I’m one.

In the 2023 Guardian article, authors Jenn Granneman and Andre Sólo state the following in their 2023 book Sensitive: “You’re not broken or wrong, because you’re sensitive. The truth is, you have a superpower.” In my view, HSP is not a superpower. Indeed, it’s a power as well as a burden.

HSP gives evolutionary advantages: “In the workplace, HSPs are often the highest performers, yet the first to burn out. They can struggle in relationships, as they lean towards people-pleasing.” (Guardian-2023). Actually, it’s not very hard to picture myself in that quote.

Still, if I had to make a choice between HSP or being numb then latter would not be my priority.

“Highly sensitive beings suffer more but they also love harder, dream wider, and experience deeper horizons and bliss. When you’re sensitive, you’re alive in every sense of the word in this wildly beautiful world. Sensitivity is your strength. Keep soaking in the light, and spreading it to others.”

A quote (#3) by Victoria Erickson, writer

Numb (2003) by Linkin Park
band, lyrics, video, Wiki-band, Wiki-song

Note: all markings (bolditalicunderlining) by LO unless in quotes or stated otherwise.

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2 Comments

  1. A n A

    if you will be wise, modest, frugal, you will be happy to be an option in any kind of relationship (family, friendship, marriage, love, job, etc.). If you will be conceited, proud, arrogant, you will want to be the number one priority, in any kind of relationship…I felt this on my skin. How many times I wanted to be in the center of attention, to be number one… I suffered. Temperance is a Christian virtue… so let’s try to be frugal and good !!

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