While doing the final edit of my recent blog, Damaged goods (2), I wondered about the word healing. Healing is (much) easier said than done. Why is it necessary? What is healing? How to get there? When is it finalised? I hope my blog will give (you) some answers to those questions.
I think, feel and believe that the Why is about restoring the balance & symmetry of our Body, Mind & Soul. In other words, to reclaim harmony with ourselves and/or others. This will (usually) be necessary after emotional and/or physical abuse by someone whom you once trusted.
For many years, I was told that I wasn’t good enough. I almost started to believe her. It took me decades to find out that her complaint was actually about herself rather than me. This dangerous phenomenon is called reverse psychology (eg, my blogs) and psychological projection (onto others).
As a result, I became a dissatisfied and unhappy person and did not genuinely love myself anymore. Hence, my healing was about loving myself again. In my view, self-esteem and self-love issues are essential to any healing process, considering our hierarchy of needs (ie, Abraham Maslow, 1943).
Given the What and Why above, how about the How? I think, feel and believe it’s about accepting the gap between reality and our perception of that reality, like how we should look like. Nobody’s perfect, yet we all strive to be.
Theoretically, that gap can be minimised either by inflating reality, or by deflating our perception (or both). The easy and simple solution is adjusting our perception towards reality. The other way around would (generally) require the help of others. Our perception is our own to manage.
A word of caution: our healing never ends. An innocent, ill-timed comment by someone whom you appreciate, may be enough for reliving those memories that we prefer to forget. You can accept your past but you cannot forget the memories that haunt you.
Some quotes on healing:
- “The wound is the place where the Light enters you.” Rumi; see full quote
- “It has been said, ‘time heals all wounds.’ I do not agree. The wounds remain. In time, the mind, protecting its sanity, covers them with scar tissue and the pain lessens. But it is never gone.” Rose Fitzgerald Kennedy
- “Do not look for healing at the feet of those who broke you” Rupi Kaur
- “If you desire healing, let yourself fall ill, let yourself fall ill.” Rumi; see full poem
Note: all markings (bold, italic, underlining) by LO unless in quotes or stated otherwise.