Sta Hungry Stay Foolish

Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish.

A blog by Leon Oudejans

Friendship, a f/m perspective

One of the differences between men and women is that many women believe they can be friends with men, with no (romantic) strings attached. Most men believe Oscar Wilde: “Between men and women there is no friendship possible. There is passion, enmity, worship, love, but no friendship.”

Interestingly, Oscar Wilde (1854-1900) was a homosexual. Hence, it’s a gay observation about straight people. The song below argues that the same principle applies to lesbian women.

Recently, I wondered whether both perspectives are examples of ideology (by women) versus pragmatism (by men).

Ideology is a human belief. Please see my October 2022 blog: Love, Knowledge & Power, a f/m perspective.

In this context, male pragmatism drives male opportunism, Please also see my August 2022 blog: Calculating women vs opportunistic men.

In order to illustrate the above, please have a look at these two hilarious videos:

Excerpt from the 1989 film When Harry met Sally

Does the above imply that female-male friendships should be mistrusted? The answer depends on your perspective. Most men will respect female boundaries, although they will probably test those boundaries. Waiting for her to change her mind, is a matter of male pragmatism. To quote Katy Perry:

You change your mind
Like a girl changes clothes

Excerpt of lyrics of 2008 song Hot n Cold

Also see this 2017 article: 15 Famous Women Who Change Guys More Often Than They Change Their Underwear.

(We cannot be) Friends not Lovers (1985) by Joan Armatrading
artist, lyrics, video, Wiki-artist, Wiki-album+song

Friends not lovers
Two people
One state of mind
We can’t be friends
Not lovers
No way
Baby I’m not lying

Note: all markings (bolditalicunderlining) by LO unless in quotes or stated otherwise.


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