Sta Hungry Stay Foolish

Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish.

A blog by Leon Oudejans

Me time (2)

I just had another look at my 2017 blog Me time, following a recent BPS article: Periods of solitude help older adults recharge after socialising. Back in 2017, my blog was about the need for me time within a relationship. Nowadays, even a short joint vacation forces me to recharge my batteries.

Recently, an old friend posted something like the older we get, the more we want to stay home alone doing nothing.

I immediately recognised that feeling and so do many others (eg, Quora).

It does make you wonder whether we really are those social creatures that we appear to be following media articles.

Perhaps, it takes several decades before we are comfortable enough to accept and to listen to our (sometimes dark and scary) thoughts.

Most of the time, I’m alone with my thoughts but seldom do I feel lonely. I enjoy my solitude.

To avoid loneliness and its related thoughts, people may want to socialize. Some people claim that bars are full of lonely people (eg, example, Quora). I had always assumed that people go there to enjoy themselves with others. A 2014 tropical vacation made me realise how wrong I had been.

Balancing the need for me time with the need or want for socializing is not easy; especially within marriage or cohabitation. Quite often, asking (sic!) for me time is considered selfish. It’s much easier to bring up this topic within a LAT relationship because both have an interest in solitude.

The global increase in single person households (source) lacks a fundamental explanation; also see my 2020 blog: Why are single person households increasing? The usual suspects are rising female job participation, urbanisation, and higher wealth. How about freedom, independence, and (me) time?

Some relevant quotes on me time:

  • “If you are losing your leisure, look out! — It may be you are losing your soul.” Virginia Woolf
  • “Self-care is not selfish.” Various (eg, NYT-2021)
  • “The time to relax is when you don’t have time for it.” Sydney J. Harris
  • “Only a fraction of sane people enjoy their own company. The rest endure it.” Mokokoma Mokhonoana
  • “It is hard to love yourself if you never spend time with yourself. ‘Alone Time’ is Necessary.” Izey Victoria Odiase

Me Time (2011) by Lisa Matassa
artist, lyrics, video, Wiki-artist, Wiki-song

A little me time
A little room to breathe time
A little calm relaxin’
Don’t want any distractions free time
I need a little me time

Note: all markings (bolditalicunderlining) by LO unless in quotes or stated otherwise.


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