Sta Hungry Stay Foolish

Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish.

A blog by Leon Oudejans

Why are people lying?

Last Saturday’s blog, Men and women both lie in dating profiles, but not about the same things (Big Think), resulted in a private message. She was curious why people are lying in their dating profile because the truth will come out during the first date. I had had a similar thought but had ignored it.

This topic was more difficult than I anticipated given the (very) many reasons why people are lying. Initially, I had 4 types of liars, which seemed rather low. Additional research revealed a 2018 article on the 8 types of liars, which was quite helpful. My current diagram has 11 types of liars.

The complexity of this topic is in the nature of our intentions for lying (ie, bad, good, irrelevant, n/a). Some people have no (bad) intentions for lying and/but do it anyway (left). However, lying is often intentional for gaining an advantage for yourself (middle). Sometimes, there are “good” intentions (right).

The liars in the middle box have been separated over their behaviour, attitude & personality. Latter category is the worst of all (eg, Donald Trump). I have added a category that you may not be aware of: Deep Denial. Please see my 2016 blog: Denial – the Truth as a Belief system.

The types of “liars” at the left and the right may need some elaboration.

Impressive

Excerpt of 2018 article: “They aim to impress. This person might not see themselves as a liar; they may not even realize they’re being deceitful. They fabricate to gain the approval of others.” I have a few friends who know this type. There are no (bad) intentions. Actually, their behaviour is a little pathetic or pitiful.

Avoidant

Excerpt of 2018 article: “They strive to avoid anything they find unpleasant; instead of being honest, they offer partial truths or deflect.” A friend argued to me that people in my region have this avoiding habit.

Protective

Excerpt of 2018 article: “This type of liar is at times dangerous, but can also be perceived as noble; it all depends on what (or who) they’re protecting. [] They may protect your secrets as well, making them a loyal friend or spouse.”

Heroic

Excerpt of 2018 article: “This type of liar is exceedingly rare, which is why they’re not included with the eight more common types of liars. The heroic liar is similar to the protective liar in that they’ll go to extremes to protect, but in their case, they lie to defend (or safeguard) someone they love (or to save a stranger even, if they believe it’s the right thing to do).”

Little Lies (1987) by Fleetwood Mac
band, lyrics, video, Wiki-band, Wiki-song

[Chorus:]
Tell me lies
Tell me sweet little lies

Note: all markings (bolditalicunderlining) by LO unless in quotes or stated otherwise.

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