Last week, I solved a ‘what-if’ question (eg, my 2016 blog). I have mixed feelings about its answer. I should be glad but I’m not. Now, I know that I escaped a bad and costly decision. My subconscious “knew” the reasons for not pursuing it. My conscious ignored it. External circumstances forced me to give up.
Perhaps, the problem was love. I’m not talking about romantic love but about my appreciation (“love”) for a town. I was so eager starting my new life there that I ignored all (subconscious) warnings (eg, too small, too dark, too expensive). A friend said that I must have had a guardian angel.
I have often wondered why that transaction did not happen, despite months of preparation. It felt to me as if that transaction was not meant to be. Apparently, that was indeed the case. The transaction that eventually did take place felt the exact opposite, like it was meant to be – for me.
Both events leave me with mixed feelings. Actually, I have no problem believing in guardian angels, if only following some extraordinary near-car crashes, some decades ago. It’s quite hard to describe the nature of my mixed feelings. Perhaps, it relates to a new (what-if) question: am I that special?
Actually, that very question has been lingering deep inside my mind for a very, very long time.
I suppose that most of us will have a similar question on their mind: am I special? What does that question even mean? And is it even a what-if question? Or is it a belief? A simple answer is: yes, we are all special (ie, unique). However, that simple answer is not enough (for most of us).
A more relevant answer is that we are all blessed with talents. These make us special (eg, jobs, music, sports). Else, we would all be generalists. Finding our (hidden) talents may take us lots of time. My writing talent was hidden for decades. Only a few years ago, I remembered that childhood ambition.
Mid 1990s, I was offered a hand reading, which I accepted. She suddenly stopped and went silent. She was not “allowed” to reveal what she had read. I was reassured that it didn’t relate to anything bad. Medium: “In Renaissance magic, palm reading  was known as one of the seven forbidden arts”.
Two decades later, I received a psychic reading as a gift. My then-girlfriend was very enthusiastic about him. However, that guy got very angry with me for “refusing” to let him read me. I doubt that I blocked him. Given the nature of his questions, I just considered him a charlatan.
Am I that special? Hmm. Who am I to answer that question? Feel free to do so yourself.
Note: all markings (bold, italic, underlining) by LO unless in quotes or stated otherwise.