I hesitate writing this. I prefer not to give up on Hope. Dating at my age is becoming increasingly discouraging and sometimes outright depressing. I’m not alone in my view. Several people already said the same to me. Some stopped entirely. Last Sunday, someone used my fishing in troubled waters analogy.
That analogy captures various aspects like demographics, health, statistics. The young & healthy fish are the first to leave the pond. The shrinking pond population includes “second-hand” fish that were thrown back with “stains” a.k.a. emotional baggage. It appears that most of the remaining fish were hurt badly.
The smoking analogy in my title is new. I never smoked in my entire life (eg, cigarettes, weed). My solution was rather simple: it’s a waste of money. My vice, however, is liquorice candy (in Dutch: drop). Quitting that habit takes me lots of willpower. Recently, I found a new solution: it saves me dentist trouble.
For several weeks or perhaps months, I’ve been considering quitting dating. Whenever I get close to that decision, new Hope arrives – until it vanishes again. I feel like a mouse being played by a cat. Still, I suppose that Playing the Game (eg, video) is more appealing than assuming the Freeze response to Life.
Quitting is (very) hard for me due to my self-inflicted Hope analogy. Essentially, I’m encouraging my own habit and/or adding fuel to the fire. My reason is simple: I fear losing Hope more than being discouraged over and over again. Losing Hope reminds me of my 2013 burnout and subsequent depression.
As a child, my father taught me fishing in the canal at the back of our home. I didn’t like pulling the fish from the hook and throw the fish back into the canal. The fish seemed to gaze at me with a kind of sadness. I suppose that is why I still don’t eat fish and not because Pisces is my zodiac.
Perhaps, that childhood memory even explains why I prefer to be “fished” rather than to “fish” myself.
Second Hand News (1977) by Fleetwood Mac ft. Lindsey Buckingham (vocals)
artist, band, lyrics, video, Wiki-band, Wiki-album, Wiki-song
[Verse 1]
I know there’s nothing to say
Someone has taken my place
When times go bad
When times go rough
Won’t you lay me down in the tall grass
And let me do my stuff?
[Outro]
I’m just second-hand news
I’m just second-hand news, yeah
Note: all markings (bold, italic, underlining) by LO unless in quotes or stated otherwise.
A nice story, so real and valid for many people. Lonely people looking for the “soul mate”. The desire to share with someone, him / her, moments of joy or sadness, makes us hope that we will find the right person. Unfortunately, our ideal of the right person does not correspond to what we encounter in this crazy world. If in our youth we could find the right person faster, after 50 years we want a Princess / a Prince, who is the perfect copy of our ideal. . I would like to find a man like Prince Siegfried from “Swan Lake”, with elegant manners and an education exquisite. “Search and you will find, knock and it will pen for you, ask and it will be given to you” this quote will help us not to lose Hope.