Sta Hungry Stay Foolish

Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish.

A blog by Leon Oudejans

I like being alone but I want someone to be alone with

Recently, a friend said to me that she had heard a quote that I would like as it fits me (see above). She was right. In my view, there’s no contradiction in this quote. Others may disagree (eg, 2x alone <> together). I suppose that is why the original quote has an annex at the end: [quote], if that makes sense.

The reasoning behind this quote is in another quote by the Indian mystic Osho (1931-1990):

“The capacity to be alone is the capacity to love. It may look paradoxical to you, but it’s not. It is an existential truth: only those people who are capable of being alone are capable of love, of sharing, of going into the deepest core of another person–without possessing the other, without becoming dependent on the other, without reducing the other to a thing, and without becoming addicted to the other. They allow the other absolute freedom, because they know that if the other leaves, they will be as happy as they are now. Their happiness cannot be taken by the other, because it is not given by the other.” Osho

I could not improve Osho’s words. These are perfect. There is, however, a broader context.

Being alone will force you to confront your dark side (eg, doubts, fears). I know people who cannot stand being alone. These people may try to escape their doubts and fears, by being around other people. In my view, they underestimate the power of the dark side. It’s better to confront it when you’re still strong.

Doubts and Fears are one side (ie, the dark side) of the never-ending cycle of Doubt-Fear-Hope-Love. I refer to the other side of that cycle as the white side. See my 2021 conceptual framework.

To summarize: you must be able to be alone if you want to be together.

A quote by Osho (1931-1990)

The above has been captured well in the 1932 song and subsequent jazz classic: Alone Together.

Alone Together (1932) by Catherine Russell (2019)
artist, lyrics, video, Wiki-artist, Wiki-album, Wiki-song

Alone together, beyond the crowd
Above the world
We’re not too proud to cling together
We’re strong as long as we’re together

Alone together, the blinding rain
The starless nights were not in vain
For we’re together
And what is there to fear together

Our love is as deep as the sea
Our love is as great as a love can be
And we can wеather the great unknown
If wе’re alone together

Note: all markings (bolditalicunderlining) by LO unless in quotes or stated otherwise.

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