Sta Hungry Stay Foolish

Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish.

A blog by Leon Oudejans

“Are we friends??”

About a week ago, I asked her this question after drinking two bottles of Vedett, a Belgian white beer containing 0,33 liter. As the Latin phrase goes: in vino veritas. She didn’t appreciate my question and said it was rhetorical. Indeed it was. At an earlier occasion, I had made a similar observation.

Being lovers does not make you friends. Friendship does not need (romantic) love. Love without friendship is often short-lived. Probably, it’s more about lust than love. In my experience, it’s rather rare that a friendship remains after the love has gone. In my view, there never was a friendship in those situations.

I told her that her response to my question confirmed the validity of my question. My efforts were, however, in vain. I considered writing that friendship is about communication, which was largely absent in our situation. Moreover, friendship is about forgiveness. I did, however, not add those arguments.

Social media, like Facebook (2004) and LinkedIn (2003), changed our perception of friends and friendship. Before we had few friends. Now we have many. The word acquaintance has disappeared from our vocabulary. Every acquaintance is now a “friend”. Hence, new words like best friend and BFF.

I suppose she uses the contemporary definition of friendship while I’m old-school. It isn’t that we didn’t try establishing a friendship and/or relationship. Recently, I mentioned to someone that she would visit me again. I got a big grin as a response and the remark: “Attempt number four”.

Some words (eg, friend, friendship, love, soul, soulmate) only have a positive meaning. The word “facebook friend” has – at best – a neutral meaning. Remarkably, these positive words are very hard to define. I suspect these words are (ultimately) connected to a rather mysterious concept: the Soul.

Nobody knows what a soul is but everyone understands its meaning: it defines who we are. Hence, a (true) friendship and a relationship are about matching souls. That is why we all want a soulmate.

Keep On Movin’ (1989) by Soul II Soul feat. Caron Wheeler (vocals)
band, lyrics, video, Wiki-band, Wiki-song

(Keep on moving)
Keep on moving
(Don’t stop)
Keep on moving, don’t stop no
(Like the hands of time)
Keep on moving
(Click clock)
(Find your own way to stay)
Keep on moving
The time will come one day

Note: all markings (bolditalicunderlining) by LO unless in quotes or stated otherwise.


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