Sta Hungry Stay Foolish

Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish.

A blog by Leon Oudejans

Trust arrives on foot and leaves on horseback

My title above is an English translation of a saying by Dutch statesman Johan Rudolph Thorbecke (1798-1872): “Vertrouwen komt te voet en gaat te paard.” His saying is valid on a micro or individual and on a macro or (inter-) national level. Trust can be restored though, albeit neither blind nor full.

I suppose our doubt and our fear, for renewed betrayal of our trust, are withholding us from renewed blind or full trust. Once bitten, twice shy (eg, phrases, song below). This phrase applies to friendships, jobs, relationships (all individual) and also any type of cooperation (eg, EU-Russia).

It’s my experience that you keep on looking for clues in case of a renewed friendship. It feels like your ratio is trying to prove that your emotion (to trust again) was wrong. Blind trust is never an option after betrayal. Renewed relationships are different: romantic partners usually keep bringing up their unresolved past.

Is there a solution? Perhaps.

Our trust is based on visible deeds and words and perceived intentions (by others).

Perceived intentions are based on our assumptions.

Betrayal reveals a misperception of the (assumed) intentions of others.

An honest discussion about (mutual) intentions will reveal the flaws in (mutual) assumptions.

However, often we are not willing (and/or able) to reveal (all of) our intentions.

Only by revealing mutual intentions, we can restore mutual trust.

In the case of Ukraine, the West must explain (to Russia) its intentions for integrating former Soviet Union territory. Russia must explain (to NATO) why it views NATO as a threat, while Russia applied for NATO membership in (about) the year 2000 (eg, Guardian-2021, Wiki).

However, revealing your intentions (eg, correct, complete, in time) makes you vulnerable. In the eyes of many, vulnerability is (about) the opposite of power. This explains why my solution will never be applied.

Once Bitten, Twice Shy (1986) by Vesta Williams (1957-2011)
artist, lyrics, video, Wiki-artist, Wiki-song

Note: all markings (bolditalicunderlining) by LO unless in quotes or stated otherwise.

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