Sta Hungry Stay Foolish

Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish.

A blog by Leon Oudejans

The dark side of Hope

A few weeks ago, I had a conversation about how destructive Hope can be when you love someone or even something. Hope will keep generating new expectations. These new expectations may result in new disappointments. That cycle is destructive for your wellbeing. Hence, the dark side of Hope.

My latest diagram (left) illustrates the above.

This perspective is new to me, although not unfamiliar – unfortunately. I prefer hiding my pain.

My friend is unable to hide hers and grief, sadness & sorrow are overwhelming her.

To some extent, the dark side of Hope makes her spiralling down.

I’ve offered her my solution but that does not work for her: a sarcophagus around your heart to stop the proverbial bleeding. I suppose, she prefers to feel her emotions rather than to isolate these. My solution works most of the time but not always. Sometimes, my sarcophagus “leaks” and needs “maintenance”.

I think, feel and believe that faith (in center of diagram) is the heart of our moral compass. For some, it usually points to fear. For others, it’s default may be doubt. Some people are always full of hope. For most of us, it’s a never-ending cycle of Doubt, Fear, Hope & Love.

You may have heard the phrase that he/she acts in good (or: bad) faith. Ultimately, this is about a (non) alignment of our deeds, words & intentions. When your deeds do not match your words then it makes sense you’ll be living in doubt and/or fear (eg, of guilt & shame or revenge and/or retaliation).

In my view, my friend acted in good faith but people around her are picturing her as if she acted in bad faith. Her life story feels like the Count of Monte Cristo, an 1844 novel by Alexandre Dumas (1802-1870).

I suppose that faith is (also) a stabilising factor in our life, like the Sun uses a stabilizing gravitational force on its planets (ie, Doubt, Fear, Hope & Love). Without the gravity of faith, we would be spiraling outwards.

Gravity (2006) by John Mayer
artist. lyrics, video, Wiki-artist, Wiki-album, Wiki-song

[Chorus]
Gravity is working against me
And gravity wants to bring me down

Note: all markings (bolditalicunderlining) by LO unless in quotes or stated otherwise.

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