I’ve lots of experience in making compromises (eg, with myself, with others). Nevertheless, it never occurred to me that others are doing the very same. Actually, 1 compromise often exists of 3 compromises: yours, her/his, and the mutual compromise. However, your and her/his compromise will shift in time.
Why do we compromise?
First and foremost, intentions will always differ between parties, despite what we do (deeds) and say (words). Please see my blogs on deeds, words & intentions. Any compromise bridges our varying intentions. What we do not achieve right here and right now, may still come to us in the future (ie, space-time dimension).
Any relationship is a perfect example of a compromise. One partner may look for a provider, while the other partner may look for a well-organized “back-office“. If both partners have similar intentions, something else will suffer (eg, offspring). If such consequences are not acceptable, “negotiations” will commence.
Any compromise is a zero-sum game. Hence, there are winners and losers. Some day, the losing party will challenge the compromise (ie, renegotiation). The winning party has only three options: accept, deny or delay.
The delay option may work well in combination with these two – rather successful – tactics:
- My 2019 blog: If you can’t beat them, confuse them
and - My 2019 blog: If you can’t confuse them, scare them.
How do you confuse someone who is challenging a compromise? A discussion about his/her spending habits will often do the trick. Money is the most powerful belief system, apart from Love. The downside is that this trick may work too well, and that his/her willingness to compromise will drift away.
The song below argues that (lots of) Love is a much better way of making compromises.
Lotta Love (1978) by Nicolette Larson (1952-1997)
(a song written by Neil Young)
artist, lyrics, video, Wiki-artist, Wiki-song
It’s gonna take a lotta love
To change the way things are
It’s gonna take a lotta love
Or we won’t get too far
So if you look in my direction
And we don’t see eye to eye
My heart needs protection
And so do I
It’s gonna take a lotta love
To get us through the night
It’s gonna take a lotta love
To make things work out right
So if you are out there waiting
I hope you show up soon
You know
I need relating not solitude
Gotta lotta love
Gotta lotta love
Note: all markings (bold, italic, underlining) by LO unless in quotes or stated otherwise.
IN A RELATIONSHIP , , HUSBAND WIFE , WITH CHILDREN, IT’S GOOD TO MAKE COMPROMISIONS .. WHEN CHILDREN GROW UP
AND MARRIAGE IS NOT OK, ANALYZE SITUATION WITH LOVE BUT PROTECT YOUR HEALTH AS WELL. MAKE THE MOST WISE DECISION, LIKE SOLOMON !!
Thanks Ana