Sta Hungry Stay Foolish

Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish.

A blog by Leon Oudejans

A holistic view on dating

Recently, a former girlfriend made an interesting remark to me: “You have a holistic view on dating.” Her actual Dutch words are rather difficult to translate: “Jij zoekt het totaalplaatje.” In her view, this explains my disappointments in dating. Her perspective was new to me. I suppose, she might be right though.

My (alleged) holistic view includes a focus on Body, Mind & Soul. Hence, I need, want and believe (my blogs) in someone with whom I can eat, pray and love, like in the 2006 book and 2010 film. My friend’s perspective will probably only result in a rare dating opportunity for me.

Another – though similar – perspective is the Freudian Trio of Id, ego and super-ego, which trio is also known as beauty, brains and brawn. I have included two quotes as together these quotes give a proper understanding.

  1. “Likewise, the Freudian Trio consists of three characters: one who acts emotionally and instinctively, one who acts with cold, passionless logic and one who reconciles the two conflicting ideals.” (source)
  2. “The personalities might also be what the Freudian Trio used to be described as: body or the impulsive, pleasure-seeking one (the brawn), mind or the academic, reasonable one (the brain) and heart or the one who ties them together, as the calming, healing influence (the beauty). In other words, the Brawn represents the Id, the Brain represents the Superego, and the Beauty represents the Ego.” (source)

My holistic view would imply that I’m looking for a copy of myself, which is counter-intuitive because such a choice would be something that I’ve always denied – to others and myself. It also explains why my mother (87) views me as “difficult” as this combined Freudian trio is indeed a complex personality.

The above also explains the many contradictions in my personality: “Serious while loving fun. Loyal and independent. Tough and fair. Cooperative and self starter. Analytical and generalist with eye for details when and where required. []. Worker and thinker.” This quote is an excerpt from my resumé.

My diminished probabilities in dating do not make me doubt or fear but hopeful (my blogs). Why would I not be? I’m looking for just one – remarkable – person. Moreover, the better you understand yourself, the more you know what you’re looking for.

I Want It All (1989) by Queen
artists, lyrics, video, Wiki-band, Wiki-song

I’m a man with a one-track mind
So much to do in one lifetime
(People, do you hear me?)
Not a man for compromise
And where’s and why’s and living lies
So I’m living it all (Yes, I’m living it all)
And I’m giving it all
(And I’m giving it all, ooh, yeah)
(Yeah, yeah, yeah)
(I want it all)

Note: all markings (bolditalicunderlining) by LO unless in quotes or stated otherwise.


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