Sometimes, you immediately recognize it (eg, from a picture): she is just my type. Most of the times, there is doubt. Else, you just know (for sure) that someone is not your type. These instances are unknown knowns within our consciousness. We may also refer to this phenomenon as feelings or intuition or instinct.
In 2017, I published my blog entitled: the 4 levels of consciousness – an integrated framework. The diagram to the left is its essence.
If and when people do have a certain type then it is to be expected that our current partners are similar to our previous partners.
If and when, men and women do have a certain type then how did it originate?
In 1899, Sigmund Freud asserted that infant males (ie, 3-5) are attracted to their mothers (ie, the Oedipus complex). In 1915, Carl Jung asserted the same about infant daughters (ie, 3-6) and fathers (ie, the Electra complex). Subsequent studies confirm these views of a 100 years ago. Excerpt of Scientific American article:
“An example is a study in which Scottish researcher David Perrett of the University of St. Andrews found that men often favor women who resemble their mother when choosing mates. Similarly, the study showed that women prefer male faces that resemble their fathers. These findings were later reported in a 2002 New Scientist magazine article titled “Like Father Like Husband.” ” Note: extra URLs by LO.
Considering the skepticism in the 2019 Scientific American article, I provide some alternatives:
- 2016: Why we are secretly attracted to people who look like our parents
- 2016: Why we are unknowingly attracted to people who look like our parents
- 2017: We seek romantic partners who look like our parents, finds study
- 2017: Do we actually have a natural attraction to people who remind us of our parents?
- 2018: Your Parents Influence the Type of People You’re Attracted To
- 2019: Do People Choose Romantic Partners Similar to Their Parent?
Actually, I have been “fighting” the above by – consciously – moving outside my comfort zone. The results of these challenges do not (yet) provide any evidence that it’s possible to find another type than ‘your type’.
In case of a happy childhood, the above makes perfect sense (to me). Moreover, I’m reminded of this quote:
“Never change a winning game; always change a losing one.”Bill Tilden (1893-1953), an American tennis player
Note: all markings (bold, italic, underlining) by LO unless in quotes or stated otherwise.