Sta Hungry Stay Foolish

Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish.

A blog by Leon Oudejans

The connection that men and women are looking for

Many female dating profiles state that they are looking for a ‘connection‘. This might just be the latest buzzword following ‘soulmate‘. Many women complain that men are just looking for a physical connection (ie, sex). A Dutch website argues that this female connection is related to a spiritual awakening.

In my view, life and nature show three collective development stages (ie, Needs, Wants & Beliefs), and two personal (human) development stages (ie, Awakening and Wisdom). Only humans have reached the Beliefs stage. That spiritual awakening may match the first personal development stage: an Awakening (my blogs).

In my view, most women outsmart men, albeit in a covert way. Perhaps, this is the reason why men view women as “mysterious” because they fail to understand women. Many women view men as simple. As a man, I must agree as most men are far less complex than women. This may explain male friendships.

Could a female desire for a spiritual connection match with a male desire for a physical connection?

In general, men and women find mutual love through quite different ways. Men will focus on female looks (eg, is she my type) and the rest is a bonus. Women will focus on male added-value (eg, can he provide) and good looks are a bonus. Female empowerment has changed remarkably little to this phenomenon. This may well relate to the fact that only women can get pregnant, which will often come at the expense of a career.

If I recall well, the above-mentioned difference in the approach to love (between men and women) is from one of the TED Talks by anthropologist Helen Fisher.

My question above has already been (implicitly) answered in my 2021 blog: The more you know yourself, the shorter your relationships. It could match although it would require (too) many compromises.

The spiritual connection that women are looking for, may explain why rather many women in the ages of 31-40 claim that they are sapiosexual. WebMD: “Sapiosexuality means that a person is sexually attracted to highly intelligent people, so much so that they consider it to be the most important trait in a partner. It is a relatively new word that has become more popular in recent years.”

Women looking for a spiritual connection with men, as well as sapiosexual women looking for highly intelligent men, may await a disappointment. Many men take their provider role quite serious. For most men, money and a physical connection are (much) higher priorities than any type of spiritual awakening.

Lately, I’ve been thinking about the (type of) connection that would make me happier (see 2nd song below).

Connection (2018) by OneRepublic
artists, lyrics, video, Wiki-1, Wiki-2

[Chorus 1]
Can I get a connection?
Can I get, can I get a connection?
Can I get a connection?
Can I get, can I get a connection?

Happier (2018) by Marshmello ft. Bastille
artist-1, artists-2, lyrics, video, Wiki-1, Wiki-2, Wiki-3

Lately, I’ve been, I’ve been thinking
I want you to be happier, I want you to be happier

Note: all markings (bold, italic, underlining) by LO unless stated otherwise.


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