Sta Hungry Stay Foolish

Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish.

A blog by Leon Oudejans

The downside of solitude

Don’t get me wrong: I like my solitude. Perhaps, I even love my solitude. However, to paraphrase Dutch soccer player Johan Cruijff‘s saying: Every advantage has its own disadvantage. The downside of solitude is that there is no distraction for the doubts and fears inside your mind (my blogs).

Recently, a former girlfriend said to me that I’ve been alone for too long. I told her that the opposite may be closer to the truth. As a Feng Shui Master foretold in 2006: I’ll have a lot of women after me in my whole life. After my divorce, his prediction indeed became true as then I became open to persuasion (see song below).

Ever since my 2019 relocation, the average duration of my “relationships” has decreased to an all-time low. In my blogs, I have used various explanations, which are mostly about my accountability and/or responsibility. I prefer that perspective rather than blaming others. I doubt that another relocation would help me.

For someone who believes in Love, it’s hard to see love slip sliding away once it is in reach. Sometimes, a thought is crossing my mind: you’re supposed to write about Love rather than experience love. The first time that I experienced falling in love was at 52. It ruined my then relationship.

I could not have written my 2,000+ blogs without solitude. Writing is neither my work nor my hobby.

I haven’t worked since my 2013 burn-out and subsequent depression (my blogs). I’ve retired myself to avoid a new stress overload. Don’t worry about me: life’s been good to me. Writing feels like a mission with a simple goal: helping other people. Hence, no paywall.

My blogs are about teaching the things that I’ve learned. That is my way of helping people. Ultimately, you can only help yourself. I want to open rather than shut your eyes. It’s about awareness (and possibly even an Awakening) and/but not about being “woke“. To the contrary even.

There’s an interesting phenomenon: solitude may cause boredom, boredom results in curiosity, curiosity leads to inspiration, inspiration translates in creativity. Hence, solitude – eventually – results in creativity. From (my) experience, I know that any (romantic) distraction will silence my inspiration.

It feels as if I’m in a Catch-22 situation: I need to write, I want love, I believe I have a mission. My wants are losing from my needs and beliefs. See my blogs on Needs, Wants & Beliefs.

Love and Affection (1976) by Joan Armatrading
artist, lyrics, video, Wiki-1, Wiki-2, Wiki-3

I am not in love
But I’m open to persuasion
East or West
Where’s the best
For romancing

With a friend
I can smile
But with a lover
I could hold my head back
I could really laugh
Really laugh

Note: all markings (bold, italic, underlining) by LO unless stated otherwise.

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