Sta Hungry Stay Foolish

Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish.

A blog by Leon Oudejans

The dating shopping list

22 October 2021

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Recently, my online friend made a casual remark in one of her voice messages: “everyone comes with a [dating] shopping list“. I knew she is right because I have one too, in the back of my mind. It contains items like looks, smell, taste, voice. My shopping list is actually much more detailed than this list suggests.

Some people look great until they open their mouth and start talking. Most people make some sounds while they sleep but some people snore like a foghorn. Kissing someone who smokes feels like licking an ashtray. A high-pitched voice often annoys. Hence, a dating grocery shopping list does make sense.

Nowadays, my online friend is blind and she assumes she no longer matches any guy’s shopping list. Her assumption makes sense; especially given her geographical location. The moment that her activities attract a cash flow, she is probably a person of interest again. Sugar mommies are popular in that region.

The woman whom I’ve invited for a long-stay ticks all the boxes on my shopping list (ie, friend, lover, muse, soulmate). Moreover, she endured all the bad things that happened to me over the five years that we spent together. At one moment, she even – wrongly – blamed herself for what happened to me.

I’ve never found someone like her again. Hence, the saying is true: you never know what you’ve got until it’s gone. Over the years, I’ve been adding “her” to my shopping list, without even (consciously) realising it. Slowly, it has dawned upon me that my dating shopping list has become a mirror image of her.

My (subconscious) realisation may have caused the 5 stage process starting with denial until final acceptance (ie, DABDA). The bargaining phase might explain my recent blog: the more you know yourself, the shorter your relationships. My period of melancholy & nostalgia may equal stage 4 depression.

While writing the above, I suddenly realise that my story feels quite similar to The Piña Colada Song by Rupert Holmes. In that song, the (unknowing) couple has a blind date when meeting each other. In my case, there’s still no date set (in our agenda), but hopefully that date will lead to a date.

The Piña Colada Song (1979) by Rupert Holmes
artist, lyrics, video, Wiki-1, Wiki-2

[Verse 1]
I was tired of my lady
We’d been together too long
Like a worn out recording
Of a favorite song
So while she lay there sleeping
I read the paper in bed
And in the personal columns
There was this letter I read:

[Hook]
“If you like piña coladas
And getting caught in the rain
If you’re not into yoga
If you have half a brain
If you like making love at midnight
In the dunes on the cape
Then I’m the love that you’ve looked for
Write to me and escape”

[Verse 3]
So I waited with high hopes
And she walked in the place
I knew her smile in an instant
I knew the curve of her face
It was my own lovely lady
And she said, “Aw, it’s you”
Then we laughed for a moment
And I said, “I never knew”

Note: all markings (bold, italic, underlining) by LO unless stated otherwise.

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