I noticed several articles claiming that strong people need help too (eg, I heart intelligence, Lessons Learned in Life, LinkedIn, Medium, Odyssey, Thought Catalog). I’m using this blog to find out what I think of that. My blog title contains my initial feeling on this topic.
I’m not sure if I see myself as a strong person. I am an independent person though. Others may view independence as being strong. There may indeed be a correlation between independent and strong. I have no problems in asking others for help. I must admit that my questions would be (very) specific and would most likely be on a business and/or professional topic.
I prefer introspection above asking others for advice on my emotional affairs. I’m bluntly honest towards myself and am my own worst critic. I do not expect that from others. They will be too afraid to hurt my feelings and lose a friendship. My feelings are not easily hurt when the intentions behind someone’s words are sincere (my blogs on deeds-words-intentions). Perceived hostile intentions would, however, change my attitude towards someone.
My blog title may give rise to a discussion about semantics though. There’s indeed a difference between needs, wants and beliefs (my blogs). Moreover, there’s a difference between help and support. For the difference between independent and strong, please refer to my 2nd paragraph.
While writing yesterday’s blog, I suddenly received a virtual hug from an online friend from Indonesia for helping her in an online game. Its timing allowed me to finish that difficult blog. Sometimes, a “thank you” and/or a virtual hug is all the attention, help or support that you need or want.
I’ve been offering my attention, help, support and/or time to a friend in need. She is not responding anymore. I have advised her to do introspection (a.k.a. soul searching) rather than fleeing into a yet another relationship that is bound to fail. After some reflection, she agreed with me. She is strong and I admire her for that. Yet, she can only help herself. Others – including me – cannot.
I suppose this is my advice to strong people: help yourself. Don’t expect anything from others, unless you want to be disappointed as well.
Note: all markings (bold, italic, underlining) by LO unless stated otherwise.