My blog title is borrowed from a proverb of unknown origin. I noticed this allegedly Irish proverb in Chesapeake Shores (Se05Ep03), a Netflix series which is rated 7.5 in IMDb. Actually, this perspective is brand new to me. After some consideration, it feels like a truth. Some rifts are much more like geological fault lines.
In love, we may consider giving someone a 2nd or 3rd chance after a break-up. Something will hold us back from doing that. In rare cases, I considered returning to a job that I had left. Something held me back from returning. Our good memories will make us consider such a move. Our reasons for leaving a job or a relationship will prevent us from going back. This proverb explains why.
Regret & remorse (my blogs) are powerful emotions that will make you reconsider your past decisions. I don’t rush into any decision. All of my decisions are the result of ample consideration. Hence, I seldom have regrets and/or remorse. Even after an undesired / unwanted break-up, I rarely feel the urge for reuniting. There might, however, be an exception to that. This Irish proverb is thus helpful in my thinking.
Some relationships are more over & out than others. After some break-ups, feelings may still be lingering, whether mutual or unilateral. In such situations, you are bound to revisit your memories and the reason(s) for breaking-up. In other situations, you are much more likely to push your memories to the fringes of your mind, in order to rank these first for forgetting.
I think, feel and believe that the only reason for going back to what broke you, is a situation in which both persons are healed from their past. Unfortunately, such a situation is (very) unlikely to occur. Quite often, the dimension time has the nasty habit of creating mismatches rather than matches. You can’t wait forever.
Our past often puts a “mortgage” on our future. Or in the words of Sci-Fi and fantasy author Ken Liu:
“History is the long shadow cast by the past upon the future. Shadows, by nature, lack details.”
A quote from The Wall of Storms by Ken Liu (b.1976), “a multiple Hugo Award-winning American author”.
Linger (1993) by The Cranberries
artists, lyrics, video, Wiki-1, Wiki-2
[Chorus]
And I’m in so deep
You know I’m such a fool for you
You’ve got me wrapped around your finger
Do you have to let it linger?
Do you have to, do you have to, do you have to let it linger?
Note: all markings (bold, italic, underlining) by LO unless stated otherwise.
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