Early 2021, I published my blog The fallacy of control. This is a follow-up because that blog was incomplete and lacked a diagram. A recent conversation with a close friend made me aware of this. Several days ago, she told me that she no longer feels in control in her relationship. Her (micro) situation is similar to what happens in our society (ie, macro) regarding the paradigm shifts in the 7 Belief systems (2015).
Our lives are governed by Change. We don’t like – and probably even hate – Change, and prefer to be “in control” of our situation (ie, family, relationship, sports, study, work). Today, technology is a tool that we trust to control our situation. Before, we put our trust in our religion. Even our individual love life fits this diagram.
The notion of Control is becoming more and more important in our lives for several reasons:
– a decline in Religion as a belief system (eg, Pew-2016, Pew-2018, René ten Bos’ article);
– a transformation from (collective) Religion to (individual) Faith (eg, Pew-2018, my 2018 blog);
– a belief that (medical) Technology can make our lives “harder, better, faster, stronger”.
Hence, to some extent, Technology has become our new religion (eg, my 2018 blog).
The mistrust of Technology has already started and certain scandals have accelerated this development. That mistrust is illustrated by adding the label Big, like Big Oil, Big Pharma, Big Tobacco, and now Big Tech.
In several countries, the distrust in national politicians has resulted in a desire for strong leadership. Nevertheless, the distrust in strongmen is widespread (eg, China, Russia, Turkey).
The real issue is our notion that Control exists. In my view, Control may only exist at a micro level and will fail to deliver at a macro level. The reason is simple: everything is connected in life, nature and the Universe, and we cannot control that entire chain of events. We keep on underestimating the eternal force of Change.
The human body is a (micro) example of Control (eg, over 37 trillion cells) and of symbiosis. Nevertheless, we seem to no longer even trust ourselves (eg, immune system) but only trust (medical) Technology.
Last but not least, finding new love is bound to result in new disappointments. Should we therefore refrain from doing so? The journey towards a new love always holds nice surprises, while a focus on the destination may result in disappointment. Below, please find some quotes on the journey and the destination.
Some relevant quotes:
– Lao Tzu (6th-4th century BC) quote: Life is a series of natural and spontaneous changes. Don’t resist them; that only creates sorrow. Let reality be reality. Let things flow naturally forward in whatever way they like.
– Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803-1882): Life is a journey, not a destination.
– Drake (b.1986): Sometimes it’s the journey that teaches you a lot about your destination.
Note: all markings (bold, italic, underlining) by LO unless stated otherwise.