Recently, I noticed an Aeon article with the title: Authenticity is a sham. After some contemplating, I had to agree. The only example of one’s “true self” might be eccentricity. The rest of us wear “masks” and play roles (ie, family, relationships, sport, study, at work). Previously, I thought, felt and believed that my current life shows me in an authentic way. I’m not so sure anymore.
Before mid 2013, I was Leon the professional (IMDb, Wiki). Until today, I viewed myself as Leon the hermit, the lone wolf, the thinker and writer. In my fantasies, I might have been starring in The Intimate Diary Of Mr. Leon “Spanking-Professor”, a French classic adult movie. I’ve never seen myself as Leon the Pig Farmer, despite my rural background. Which Leon is authentic?
There are four basic roles and four basic types of intelligence in our life:
- family & relationships, which require emotional intelligence (EQ);
- sports, which require physical intelligence (PQ);
- studying, which requires intelligence (IQ);
- working in groups, which requires social intelligence (SQ).
Balancing all four simultaneously is (very) hard. We tend to prioritize and make choices (my blogs). Hence, we tend to sacrifice a part of us for “the greater good” (my blogs). Quite often, we consider our career as more/most important as it allows for our lifestyle and/or style of life.
Perhaps, the global statistics involving (decreasing) birth rates, (increasing) divorces, (late) marriages, and/or (increasing) single households are (all) related to our inability of balancing these four. However, some countries manage better than others.
For years, the annual UN World Happiness Report ranks Nordic countries as the world’s happiest countries. Simultaneously, these Nordic countries also rank lowest on the Gini coefficient, which measures income and/or wealth inequality, as developed by the Italian statistician and sociologist Corrado Gini. Both rankings should also relate to their ability of balancing these 4 roles.
I think, feel and believe that our authenticity may be nothing more than our balancing of these four roles. In this view, authenticity is a dynamic reflection of how we play our roles over time.
“The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe. If you try it, you will be lonely often, and sometimes frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself.” A quote by Rudyard Kipling (1865-1936), and English poet and writer, that is often misattributed as a quote by Friedrich Nietzsche.
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