Sta Hungry Stay Foolish

Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish.

A blog by Leon Oudejans

The new kid in town

One of the great lines in this Eagles song is: “They will never forget you ’til somebody new comes along“. That’s what I’ve felt for the last couple of days. Female interest in my dating profile was that huge that technical problems suddenly prevented me from answering anymore messages. The site still hasn’t figured out the reason for the problems (eg, maximum threshold).

My profile says that I will be leaving within a few days. People are questioning me about that decision. To me, the reason is simple: dating is a tool to achieve a goal. Dating is not a goal in and of itself. Moreover, dating is most certainly not a way of spending my time. 

The business model for dating sites is simple: the longer your subscription, the cheaper per month. Obviously, total cost will go upwards. As a result, you tend to see familiar faces. Once, one of them even sent me a message: “Hi, long time no see!” More and more, dating sites are like the new Facebook. No wonder that Facebook is entering the dating market.

Once, someone freaked me out by saying that she visits a swingers club for social reasons (ie, meeting her friends). I asked her if she wasn’t confusing friends with free-riders (pun intended). She was dead serious. I fail to grasp that kind of lifestyle. Friendship isn’t casual.

Similarly, I fail to grasp why women are spending years on a dating site. Once, someone had the nerve of suggesting improvements to my dating profile because she had years of experience on that site. I asked her if she realised the irony in her words. She did not. She claimed I was scaring people away. I said that is intentional because less = more. She did not understand me.

Quite often women fail to grasp my relocation to the other side of the country and moving away from family and friends. In my view, family and friendship transcend the (limitations of the) space and time dimensions. I’m willing to relocate and start all over again. As Dutch soccer player Johan Cruyff once keenly observed: every disadvantage has its advantage.

Our home/house prevents us from being the eternal new kid in town. I’ve considered being a global nomad but waived that idea. It doesn’t fit my character. I need a place that I can call home.

“Home is a place you grow up wanting to leave, and grow old wanting to get back to.” A quote by John Ed Pearce (1917-2006), an American journalist.

A Place to Call Home (2013) by Penelope Austin

artist, lyrics, video, Wiki-1, Wiki-2

Note: all markings (bolditalicunderlining) by LO unless stated otherwise.

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