Recently, I had a phone call with a friend. During that call, I made a sudden and unexpected analogy: 50+ dating is like fishing in troubled waters. So, I guess I’m trouble as well because I’m still in that pool of leftovers. Several times, I assumed I was out but each time I find myself back in again. My mother (86) certainly agrees I’m trouble as she calls me difficult. I prefer complex.
From a statistical point of view, dating at 50+ is actually harder rather than easier. There might be plenty of fish (eg, divorced, widowed) but each of them – including me – has her/his scars and troubles by carrying emotional baggage from previous relationships.
Dating profiles often claim that there’s no (emotional) backpack. That might be true. I suppose it actually means that these people have a forward view in life rather than a rear mirror view. I prefer that because someone’s negativity is likely to drain your energy. Recharging human batteries often takes longer than a few hours.
From a statistical point of view (again), successful dating at 50+ is about quantity in order to find the remaining quality in those troubled waters. Actually, that thought had never occurred to me before. It might, however, also be (my) wishful thinking in order not to lose hope.
About a year ago, I published my blog: Decoupling: Doubt – Fear – Hope – Love (4), including the diagram to the left.
At the moment, I’m in a vacuum again as (mutual) doubt and fear have taken over from love.
Somehow, that vacuum feels safe for now, and I’m not (yet) ready leaving it.
Currently, I’m digesting my lessons learned and publishing my new insights (my blogs).
Last but not least, I’m (very) reluctant giving up on hope.
Hence, to be continued.
Trouble Man (1972) by Marvin Gaye (1939-1984)
artist, lyrics, video, Wiki-1, Wiki-2, Wiki-3
Note: all markings (bold, italic, underlining) by LO unless stated otherwise.
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