Sta Hungry Stay Foolish

Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish.

A blog by Leon Oudejans

Paradise: Love & Hate

Mid December 2012, I flew to Mombasa, Kenya, for a vacation. While in the plane, a woman next to me asked for the reason of my trip. I told her but was curious why she was wanted to know. She asked me if I had seen our fellow passengers. To my surprise, I noticed that they were nearly all senior white males. She told me that Mombasa is a top destination for sex tourism.

During a walk at the Kenyan beaches, I noticed two German speaking women of 60+, who were accompanied by two local men in their mid 30’s. The women were absorbed in their conversation and treated the men as annoying children. I noticed them a few times during my vacation. 

That scene reminded me of the documentary Paradise: Love (IMDb, YouTube trailer, Wiki). It’s about female sex tourism to Africa. The female narrator asks various Austrian / German women if they consider their trip as sex tourism. They seem shocked by her question. They claim their trip is about love. Various scenes suggest that their denial equals plausible deniability (my blogs).

The very first time that I suspected a case of female sex tourism was in Tunisia in the late 1980s. If I recall well, a German woman in her fifties was the center of attraction in a group of some ten Tunisian men in a local restaurant. One of these men seemed to be her boyfriend. The other men were making fun, and apparently also seemed to ridicule her and him. 

Recently, I had discussions with two females, one from Kenya and one Dutch. Both claim that men are adulterers. I replied that any male adulterer needs a female adulterer. My Kenyan friend was shrewd and said that some women are not aware of the man being married. I replied that many Kenyan women, who are married to a Mzungu, have a Kenyan man on the side. 

She laughed, agreed and said the following to me: “Mostly the mzungu is a financial provider. The African man provides pleasure.” These love triangles have caused several (high profile) murders of elderly Mzungu living in Kenya (eg, a Dutch case). Often, there’s a thin line between love and hate (eg, lyrics, 1971 original, 1984 cover).

The documentary Paradise: Love is also quite personal to me because the coastal region of Kenya felt like paradise to me, during my first visit. During my second visit, I fell head over heels in love for the first time in my life. To cut a long story short, she married another Dutch guy, after wrecking my life. My love for her has always been stronger than my hate for her.

Love & Hate (2016) by Michael Kiwanuka
artist, lyrics, video, Wiki-1, Wiki-2

Standing now
Calling all the people here to see the show
Calling for my demons now to let me go
I need something, give me something wonderful

I believe
She won’t take me somewhere I’m not supposed to be
You can’t steal the things that god has given me
No more pain and no more shame and misery

Note: all markings (bolditalicunderlining) by LO unless stated otherwise.


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