Late September, I noticed a personal ad in a newspaper. One Dutch word hit me in the face: “levenslust” or “lust for life”. My many disappointments in Love had disrupted my lust for life. In the absence of Hope and Love, Doubt and Fear will take over (my blogs). In my life, doubt has a central spot because doubt forces me to keep an open mind. This kind of doubt felt different.
Quite some studies claim that men live longer while being in a (healthy) relationship (eg, Harvard Medical School). There are three main explanations: biological (ie, stress related), behavioral (eg, drinking, eating, exercising, medical care, smoking), and psychological (eg, loneliness, depression, social isolation). The 2nd and 3rd one relate to (not) having lust for life.
Another 2019 Dutch study reduces these three explanations to only one: “The data show that spousal life satisfaction was associated with mortality, regardless of individuals’ socioeconomic and demographic characteristics, or their physical health status” (Science Daily, Tilburg University). Note: italic marking in quote by LO.
A Google search on how to get back your lust for life revealed few relevant hits (eg, Health Guidance, Psych Central, Quora). One answer on Quora was, however, quite helpful: “to regain anything you must first want it”. Note: bold and italic marking in quote by LO.
Her answer made me realise that a lust for life is closely related to my Needs, Wants & Beliefs concept. Our body is hardwired for drinking, eating, and sleeping (ie, Needs). However, fulfilling our Needs does not automatically cause a lust for life. Why? Physical intimacy is often seen as a Want rather than a Need. However, the absence of physical intimacy often results in dissatisfaction, loneliness and unhappiness.
The above confusion (ie, between Needs or Wants) can also be found in examples of Abraham Maslow‘s pyramid or hierarchy of needs. Some diagrams picture physical intimacy as part of our basic physiological needs, while other examples claim it is ranked in the middle amongst social belonging.
Following my soul searching, I have created a new dating profile in order to boost my hope and my lust for life. I’m glad that initial feedback is promising. To be continued.
Lust for Life (2017) by Lana Del Rey ft. The Weeknd
Note: all markings (bold, italic, underlining) by LO unless stated otherwise.