Recently, former First Lady Michelle Obama said she is suffering from a “low-grade depression” (BBC, Independent). After reading, I understood her – and my – emotions. I assume that I’m also facing a mild depression. The reasons are similar: “Spiritually, these are not fulfilling times”. She is coping by “surrendering to her feelings and not being so hard on herself [], as has [been] spending time with her family []”. Somebody is watching over her.
On Thursday, I received a text message. Somebody is watching my blogs and scanning these for details on my private life. For about a month, she was the love of my life. During that month, she ended it twice and the second time with a Beirut-like-blast. I assume that my mild depression also relates to that feeling of devastation.
Last Monday, someone complained about her life. I replied to her that I have no friends here and that I’m even considering moving back to my roots. I have no idea whether that relocation would solve anything. Last Wednesday, someone was very worried about my wellbeing after not hearing from me for hours. She was about to drive to my home. Somebody is watching over me.
I told her not to worry. There is no way that I’ll be drifting back to the worst period in my life, when I was considering ending my life to solve the pain and suffering. At some point in 2013, my eyes were repeatedly forced to focus on a particular film that I hadn’t seen yet. After the third time, I got up and looked at it, and watched that movie. I knew somebody is watching over me.
I still refer to that 2013 moment as “divine intervention” because I have no other explanation. In 1978, at our Christian high school, our teacher of religion once stated that the name of Yahweh means: “I am here for you”. I never forgot that moment and loved its beautiful meaning: you’ve got a friend, who is watching over you.
Today’s blog does not end the break that I announced in last Monday’s blog. Nevertheless, it’s too important for not writing and/or publishing it. The words “somebody’s watching (over) me” had entered my mind and refused to leave. Not writing it, was not an option, if only for the ones who are actually watching over me.
Like Michelle Obama, I’m also surrendering to my feelings of mild despair, and by being less hard on myself. Having family and friends, who are watching over you, brings Hope which is the antidote against doubt, fear and despair. See my 2017 blog: The cycle of Faith Hope & Love and Doubt Fear & Despair.
“When everything seems too far away from you, don’t despair, return to yourself because you are the nearest thing to yourself! Accumulate energy with yourself! Then you will feel powerful to reach even beyond the far things!” A quote by Mehmet Murat ildan, a “Turkish playwright, novelist and thinker” (official website).
Somebody’s Watching Me (1983) by Rockwell
artist, lyrics, video, Wiki-1, Wiki-2
You’ve Got a Friend (1971) by Carole King
artist, lyrics, video, Wiki-1, Wiki-2
Note: all markings (bold, italic, underlining) by LO unless stated otherwise.
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