I heard this fascinating quote in the Netflix series The Umbrella Academy (rated 8.0 in IMDb). On the surface, it might translate as “men are open books while women are like mysteries”. Yet this would not capture it. An analogy with diamonds might be more appropriate: men and women both have edges, whereas women have an opaque inside while men are transparent.
Apparently, I do not fit this box as I’ve heard several women complain that they cannot “read” my inner world. Several years ago, my then-girlfriend gave me a present: an hour with a mind reader. That guy got infuriated with me as he wasn’t able to reach inside me. He accused me of closing myself off to him, which I did not do as far as I’m aware of. I was just skeptic.
Nevertheless, I do have sides which I don’t mind revealing when I trust the other person. I show a different side when I do not (yet) trust a person. Actually, I’m quite good in keeping secrets. This is useful and appreciated in roles that require dealing with confidential information.
To most men, women are mysterious. I think, feel and believe that I’m quite able to understand a woman, provided that I spend some time with her. I observe her deeds and words and make my assumptions about their underlying intentions. With hindsight, my former profession (ie, auditing) is no surprise. I’m always looking for the consistency in deeds, words and intentions.
Men have cooperated for many thousands of years. Cooperation requires trust. Trusting someone who is keeping secrets, does not go well together. The flip side of my observation is that women would not cooperate well. Actually, I’ve indeed noticed that women often prefer working with men. The reason appears to be that these women do not really trust other women.
Secrets fulfil an interesting role in my concept of Love, Knowledge & Power (my blogs). Secrets relate to having informal Knowledge and also to having informal Power (over others). Keeping secrets may provide a counterweight to – and create a balance with – formal (male dominated) Power. The biblical story of Samson and Delilah is all about Love, Knowledge & Power, secrets and their betrayal.
I suppose keeping secrets is functional for men, while it’s a way of life for women (eg, Amazon).
“I thought about how there are two types of secrets: the kind you want to keep in, and the kind you don’t dare to let out.” A quote from the 2009 novel Don’t Judge a Girl by Her Cover by Ally Carter, “the pen name of Sarah Leigh Fogleman (b. 1974), an American author of young adult fiction and adult-fiction novels”.
No More Secrets (2011) by Carolina Liar
artists, lyrics, video, Wiki-1, Wiki-2
I tell you that I cannot hide
An open book with nothing left between the lines
No more secrets
Note: all markings (bold, italic, underlining) by LO unless stated otherwise.
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