Sta Hungry Stay Foolish

Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish.

A blog by Leon Oudejans

Interracial relationships

My first girlfriend was a Dutch-Indonesian girl from my birthplace. Many afternoons, I watched her bicycling home, while I was studying upstairs. In my memories, she had “raven hair and ruby lips“. It took me a while to get acquainted to her. Her younger brother was always trailing her. Things got easier when I noticed her walking the dog (alone), behind my parents’ house.

I’ve had several interracial relationships since. Unfortunately, most didn’t work out. Given their timing, I suppose the reasons were cultural differences rather than identity politics. They say opposites attract but magnetism has a pull and a push force (my blogs of 2018 and 2019). The magnetism of interracial relationships can feel like magic.

Over the years, my longest interracial relationship was with Joan (my blogs). Our magnetism was strong, both pull and push. Obviously, we had our cultural differences but these never became an obstacle. The main thing was that we understood each other as she was a bounty (ie, black outside, white inside), and I’m a reversed bounty (ie, white outside, black inside).

My original reason for writing this blog was that I assumed that interracial relationships would be declining. I assumed that the rise in identity politics would be the reason for the fall in interracial relationships. I suppose that my rural perspective is the reason for my wrong assumptions. Indeed, the assumption is the mother of all mistakes (my 2015 blog, external blog).

According to Pew Research reports, there has been a “steady increase” in interracial marriages since 1967 when “the U.S. Supreme Court in the Loving v. Virginia case ruled that marriage across racial lines was legal throughout the country”. Pew-2017: “In 2015, 17% of all U.S. newlyweds had a spouse of a different race or ethnicity []”. Also see Wikipedia.

Now, I assume urbanisation (my blogs), apart from love, is the driver of interracial relationships. Why not following your heart while enjoying the anonymity of (mega) cities? The social pressure in small societies (eg, the staring at interracial couples) can easily become a reason for not following your heart. Moreover, justifying yourself to ongoing questions is tiresome.

Sometimes, I miss being in an interracial relationship, despite living in a rural small white village. Perhaps, it’s the strong connection that I really miss. Today, most connections feel so weak. At the slightest upheaval, the connection breaks. There is no forgiving and certainly no forgetting. In an interracial relationship love has to be strong to overcome its many obstacles.

“Love is blind despite the world’s attempt to give it eyes.” A quote by Matshona Dhliwayo, a Zimbabwean-born and Canadian-based philosopher, entrepreneur and author of books.

Witchy Woman (1972) by the Eagles

artists, lyrics, video, Wiki-1, Wiki-2

Raven hair & ruby lips 

Sparks fly from her fingertips

Note: all markings (bolditalicunderlining) by LO unless stated otherwise.


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