Sta Hungry Stay Foolish

Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish.

A blog by Leon Oudejans

Why is disappointment a long-lasting feeling?

When reality exceeds our expectations, we usually feel a brief moment of joy. Afterwards, we tend to increase our (future) expectations. This increase might explain why our joy is short-lived. When our expectations exceed reality, disappointment occurs. Similar as grief, disappointment is a long-lasting feeling and not a short-lived emotion. Why?

Most emotions are short-lived outbursts (eg, anger, joy). Is it possible that disappointment is not a negative emotion? Is disappointment a long-lasting feeling like (dis)trust? Is an emotion like joy based on output while disappointment is based on input (eg, character)? Could our disappointment have been avoided by an increase of output? Is this about (lacking) willpower?

A visualization of the above gives the following diagram:

My diagram feels genuine (eg, complete, correct, timeliness). Hence, I will work with these results until further notice.

The common advice to minimise your expectations in order not to be disappointed seems to apply to input (eg, character) rather than output (eg, performance).

My willpower remark above made me wonder if my diagram relates to my concept of Faith, Beliefs & Willpower (my blogs). If our expectations are based on our beliefs then shortcomings will make us lose our faith (eg, in someone, in something). A shortcoming is similar to expectations exceeding reality but based on input (ie, willpower) rather than output.

The aforementioned paragraph is often the case with people who are addicted to something (eg, alcoholism, opioids, smoking). It’s more helpful to judge these “junkies” on input (eg, strength of character, willpower) rather than on output (eg, daily performance). We prefer a cold turkey approach rather than their bargaining (eg, number of drinks, pills, cigarettes).

“Let me tell you this: if you meet a loner, no matter what they tell you, it’s not because they enjoy solitude. It’s because they have tried to blend into the world before, and people continue to disappoint them.” A quote from the 2004 novel My Sister’s Keeper by Jodi Picoult (b. 1966), an American writer.

Disappointed (1992) by Electronic

artists, lyrics, video, Wiki-1, Wiki-2

Disappointed, once more 

Disillusioned, encore 

I could love you, for sure 

So you’re not disappointing at all

Note: all markings (bolditalicunderlining) by LO unless stated otherwise.

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