On 31 March 2016, I wrote part one of my blog: Why are opinions stronger than facts? This question is still on my mind despite five other blogs on this topic (see list below). I have come to realise that one explanation was missing. Hence, part two of this blog.
The issue of opinions versus facts has been the topic in – at least – 5 of my other blogs:
(1) 2015 – Denial – dealing with facts and opinions
(2) 2016 – Opinions and criticism
(3) 2018 – I’m entitled to my own opinion, am I ??
(4) 2018 – Facts are undisputed. Opinions are not.
(5) 2018 – Why are beliefs stronger than intuition, imagination and even knowledge?
The simplest of all explanations is that we think, feel and believe that our opinion is better than the opinion of others, even while those other opinions may be rooted in facts. Clearly, this explanation – and belief – is related to (hidden) arrogance (self) and (projected) ignorance (others).
Appreciating the opinions of others takes a lot of our energy because of the steps that are required: (i) hearing, (ii) listening, (iii) (un)filtering, (iv) digesting, (v) validating, (vi) accepting, and (vii) appreciating. The first step might even be the biggest threshold when people talk a lot without saying much (examples, Independent on Mrs May, Yahoo answers). Please also see my 2017 blog: The process of Change.
The belief that our opinions are better – a.k.a. arrogance – seems natural though because of concepts like self-esteem, self-importance, self-love, self-respect and sometimes even self-righteousness. Essentially, we love ourselves – including our opinions – more than we love others – let alone their opinions.
The exception is when we love someone else – idolatry or romantically. As long as we love that other person, all of her/his opinions will be appreciated. Love creates a filter of looking through pink glasses or rose-colored glasses: “a happy or positive attitude that fails to notice negative things, leading to a view of life that is not realistic” (Cambridge).
Without compassion or love, it’s (very) hard to appreciate or respect someone else – especially her/his opinions. Hence, several of my blogs contain a 1976 Stevie Wonder song Love’s in need of Love today. Without a reasonable doubt about yourself, self-love has a tendency to grow into arrogance and for some people even into narcissism.
This leaves me with a new question: why is self-doubt so hard? A related tiny buddha blog provides a possible answer through this Honoré de Balzac quote: “When you doubt your power, you give power to your doubt”. Apparently, self-doubt is also related to the Love-Knowledge-Power triangle. To be continued – or not.
Rose Colored Glasses (1978) by John Conlee
artist, lyrics, video, Wiki
Note: all markings (bold, italic, underlining) by LO unless stated otherwise
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