Our self-view is often limited by our senses, like (i) looking in the mirror, (ii) listening to our (weird) voices in messages, (iii) smelling or tasting our sweat, and (iv) touching our body parts. Others only see fragments of us, and (usually) have no clue what we are thinking. Moreover, these fragments often coincide with our roles in life, like employee, parent, spouse, and/or student.
We do not view ourselves the same way as others do because we know what we are thinking. This explains the (very) many terms that start with “self-“, like self-control, self-esteem, self-confidence. I now realise that I was writing about the Self-concept long before adding that label to my blog (eg, my blogs on self-control, self-esteem).
I am quite sure that I perceive myself different from how other people see me. Moreover, in each role, I show a different me. Sometimes, I even joke that my name is an abbreviation of chameleon. I suppose that the mere fact that we are 24/7 privy to our thoughts, is likely to cause confusion in our mind. If only because we often have conflicting thoughts. This internal confusion might be a root cause for the difference in opinion(s) between others and ourselves.
We have many tools for external confusion by tweaking the main 5 senses of others: eyesight (eg, automobiles, brands, clothing, colours, glasses, make-up, wigs), hearing (eg, posh accents), smell (eg, perfume), taste (eg, spicy / sweet food), and touch (eg, gloves). And – if everything else fails – we have reverse psychology & projection to confuse their minds about us.
My diagram explains how I view the Self-concept. The main parameters are How, What, When, Who and Why. The Self-concept is about the eternal question: Who am I?
Four of these 5 parameters are input: Others, Purpose, Talents, and Time. These 4 drivers reflect Nature and Nurture.
The 5th parameter is output: Who am I? Also see my 2018 blog for this eternal question.
The Self constitutes of 3 underlying concepts: Body (eg, appearance), Mind (eg, personality, reverse psychology) & Soul (ie, good vs evil). Also see my related blogs.
The Self-concept can be illustrated by these 2 legendary quotes:
– Quote 1: “If you can’t beat them, join them” (eg, group versus Self);
– Quote 2: “If you can’t convince them, confuse them” (eg, others versus Self).
Me Myself I (1980) by Joan Armatrading
artist, lyrics, video, Wiki-1, Wiki-2
Note: all markings (bold, italic, underlining) by LO unless stated otherwise
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