Recently, I had a discussion about arranged marriages after watching the 2010 movie Eat Pray Love (IMDb). I argued that arranged marriages were once rather common in Europe, and still are in certain circles. Nowadays, romantic love is the new normal. The 1997 sci-fi movie Gattaca (IMDb) argues that this may change again in the future: good/successful DNA will be leading.
According to a 2017 Psychology Today article, I might – once again – be an exception: “In romantic relationships, people are generally either realists or romantics. Very few people describe themselves as endowed with both a romantic spirit and a realist’s practicality. At the same time, many men and women search for relationships that are both exciting and stable, passionate and long-lasting.” Note: italic text markings by LO.
Frankly, I don’t believe these “either/or” arguments (my 2015 blog). Life may indeed be rather digital (my 2017 blog) but explanations are usually cumulative (“and/and”) rather than “single”. Hence, the 3rd line in the quote of the previous paragraph already contradicts its 1st line.
Both idealism and realism have a Time dimension, which is represented by our age. This diagram may apply to any of our beliefs, at least to Love and Politics.
Age usually brings wisdom (my recent blog). Wisdom often softens our (dogmatic) views. Hence, realism will supersede idealism while ageing.
In Love, idealism translates as romantic love and includes the belief that your soulmate is somewhere out there (my 2015 blog and 2016 blog).
Again, age brings realism in Love, if only becomes our biological clock is ticking, ticking…… (my 2016 blog).
Now that I am in the autumn of my years (my 2017 blog), I am less inclined to keep on searching. Furthermore, searching only makes sense once you know exactly what and/or whom you are searching for. Else, it’s a random chase, with or without – what we usually call – “luck”. I believe in Faith. Everyone who has been on my path, was there for a reason. Some contributed more than others. Some will never be forgotten. Still everybody wants a happy ending.
Happy Ending (1984) by Joe Jackson & Elaine Caswell – lyrics, video, Wiki-1, Wiki-2
Do I listen to my heart, do I listen to my head?
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Still everybody wants a happy ending
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