Sta Hungry Stay Foolish

Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish.

A blog by Leon Oudejans

The love for Solitude and fear of Loneliness (2)

The hardest part of solitude is people hopping in and out of your life. Some may call it Living Apart Together (LAT); others may call it Friends With Benefits (FWB). The problem arises when you’re alone again. Suddenly loneliness is trying to find its way back into your life. It’s a kind of feeling related to self-pity. Finding the peaceful easy feeling of solitude takes some time again.

I think, feel and believe that life is about AND rather than OR choices. I seem to be rather “alone” in this view. Many people around me tend thinking in OR’s. Please also see my 2015 blog on the AND/OR dilemma and my 2017 blog Why is Life digital? The danger of OR choices is the drifting towards the edges (extremes) of life.

Since several years, solitude is my preferred choice of Life. I do recognise its dangers. A recent FB post by Expanded Consciousness (see right picture) is quite accurate: “Solitude is dangerous. It’s addicting. Once you see how peaceful it is, you don’t want to deal with people.”

There are, however, always people in Life who bring Hope and Love rather than Doubt and Fear (my blogs). I have made a careful and deliberate choice being with positive people and avoiding negative people.

This (left) picture states a most interesting quote by Marty Rubin: “Solitude is where one discovers one is not alone.” Technically this statement is incorrect but inherently it feels true. This may need some explanation.

Solitude takes away all distractions, mostly people and sounds. The emerging void is scary for some, and addictive for others. In this void, the big question is: Who am I? The next question is about the 2 primal emotions: do I love or fear that person?

We often define ourselves by what role we play in (business or private) life. On my LinkedIn, I use the following (business) roles: Auditor, CFO, Consigliere, Resultant and Writer. Roles are, however, temporary in life – by definition. Ultimately, Life is about who we are rather than what we are. We are measured by our deeds, words, and thoughts (see my blogs on Zoroastrianism).

When our roles are stripped away from us then we feel “naked”. This moment is confronting, especially when we do not like ourselves, deep down. Accepting yourself (my 2017 blog) and appreciating (loving) yourself for who you are, is part of finding Solitude. Often we prefer hearing recognition and appreciation from others; see my 2016 blogs:#1, # 2. Solitude also shows us kindness as solitude accepts our imperfections.

Peaceful Easy Feeling (1972) by the Eagles – artists, lyrics, video, Wiki-1, Wiki-2

I get this feeling I may know you as a lover and a friend.

But this voice keeps whispering in my other ear,

Tells me I may never see you again.


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