A few days ago, I heard that familiar phrase once again while walking back home and listening into a conversation between 2 elderly women: “Everything used to be better” – or in Dutch: “Vroeger was alles beter”. Despite my own age (56), I do not relate to such feelings. I do understand them though.
I think, feel and believe that this statement has – at least – three main dimensions: time (subjective), changes (objective) and personality (human firmware).
Depending on your age, you either have (much) more time to look forward to – or most of your time is already behind you. Latter automatically implies that you have lost friends and relatives along the way and that memories start playing a bigger role in your life (eg, Joan). All of these elements are rather personal, hence subjective.
Objectively, the pace of changes in our lives is still accelerating. In case of doubt then I strongly urge you to have a look at this great Business Insider Intelligence video which puts the timeline of human history into perspective. The last 20 seconds of this 3.5 minute video show the enormous acceleration of changes as a result of the Technological Revolution of 1800-2100 (blog parts 1, 2, 3 and 4).
The final dimension is your personality structure or human firmware in whichprimal emotions are either more geared to Love or more towards Fear. In general, I love technology and gadgets although the potential use of new technology is sometimes (very) worrisome (eg, 24/7 robotics, killer robots). Over the years, I have noticed that men are often more inclined to treat technology and gadgets as friends (Love) while women are often more inclined to treat both as enemies (Fear).
The increasingly fast pace of changes in our lives is likely to trigger the primal emotion of Fear in people’s minds. It makes perfect sense to Love the past when you Fear the future. The first time that I genuinely realised how much we humans dislike change, was after reading the superb booklet “Who Moved My Cheese?” by Dr. Spencer Johnson (PDF). Also see my 13 April 2016 blog: The promise and fear of Change (part 2).
Perhaps there is a 4th dimension: Goals. I am convinced of the importance of having goals in your life. Having goals will force you to keep on looking towards the future in order to realise these goals. Having no goals left in your life, is like waiting for the end to arrive. In such a situation, the past is always better than the present – let alone the future.
Psychology Today: “Not all who wander are lost,” they say, but for the great majority of us, having a road map for the future is a key element to well-being and success, however we choose to define it. This means setting goals for ourselves, and finding ways to achieve them. If you’re a wanderer, it might be time to realize the boundless utility of setting goals”.
Essentially, I have 3 main goals in life: a reconciliation with my kids, a new love, and something that pays my bills. Also see my 27 May 2015 blog. I do not (want to) live in my past. I do enjoy my present. However, as Nikola Tesla once wrote: “The present is theirs; the future, for which I really worked, is mine”.
Past, Present and Future (1966) by Marianne Faithfull
artist, lyrics, video, Wiki-1, Wiki-2
Note: all markings (bold, italic, underlining) by LO unless stated otherwise.
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