The subject of money and relationships is a hard one for me as I lost a relationship over it. I have also lost at least 1 friendship over money. Nevertheless, I accepted a request to write a blog about this topic. In order to be able to write a blog on it I had to make a mind map first. That mind map has resulted in the following diagram.
This model is not a real-life dynamic one but a static one and hence it has some limitations. Even though this model should represent the basic drivers. Each individual comes with his/her opinions in a relationship (eg, through parents, religion, education, friends, media). These opinions translate into essential decisions about spending money: either now (eg, consumption) or later (eg, investment).
If both partners have similar opinions – and decisions – about money then an important element for disputes has been eliminated. This may even be an important reason for finding a partner from the same social background.
Essentially, there are 2 extreme views on a relationship and thus also about the usual money issues in a relationship: Love and Power. It should be noted that both partners can have either view and not necessarily the same view. Essentially, Power leads to inequality and then to disputes. Money is an easy tool for such disputes as it meets the SMART criteria. Love can and will delay disputes about money, either temporary or permanently, as Love is all about equality and sharing.
Love, Money and Power are 3 elements from the 7 Belief systems. Money and Power have been friends since the beginning of mankind. Love must be powerful to balance the other 2 elements in a relationship. Money issues between partners and friends – in business or private – are usually quite destructive. This also explains the ancient saying: For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil.
ABBA – Money, Money, Money (1976) – artists, lyrics, Wiki-1, Wiki-2
I work all night, I work all day, to pay the bills I have to pay
Ain’t it sad
And still there never seems to be a single penny left for me
That’s too bad
In my dreams I have a plan
If I got me a wealthy man
I wouldn’t have to work at all, I’d fool around and have a ball…
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